I

three aeons ago you were still a budding star.
carefree and reckless then, you plundered fire poor
stole the gold and oxygen from its core
that is what you were.
insubstantial, thin as air
and nothing could touch you
or hold you in its grasp, i swear

II

time changes everything.
the number three
spells love pain grief
a binding trinity.
within it, your elements gave way
to new, seeing human eyes
no longer the unacred blue of skies
but the hue of woodland sparrows, shy


III

the unearthly wildness will return to you
as the lunar eclipse arrives
careful now that it does not consume your human heart
like a gypsy's hidden knives.
remember that the stars shine brightest without a moon
and so long as you endure the night
crave the light
dawn will come.
when it does, we'll be done.

IV

the sun has appeared over the horizon.
the sprite is still asleep,
his head in the crook of her arm
the sky above them a mesmerizing portrait
of utter calm.
and as the first rays of sunlight
illuminated his face
she marvelled how on earth
they came to be in this same space


V

look at you.
sometimes when i do
i catch a glimpse of who you are to be
the future is not unforeseeable
miraculously

Dear World:

There has been much that I have learnt in the past half year. But before we go on to discuss those things, I'll give a short account of nonsensicals~

Yesterday, I went around to Mr Alynn's house and played housewife. It felt extremely odd to be doing the cooking in his kitchen whilst he rushed around shirtless trying to get himself ready, but I must admit that it was quite funny. And truth be told, he doesn't clean up bad in half an hour considering he did an all-nighter the night before! Although I did go on Facebook before, and the Miss Austen he attended the farewell dinner of last night wasn't as unbearably "hot" as he described her to be XDDD

Anyhow. After church, the rest of us minus Mr Alynn (who had already left to attend to attend aforementioned farewell dinner) went to Denny's for a late-night snack. I did enjoy my Oreo Vanilla Frost very much - and well, Denny's times with them are always fun ^_^

You know, I was thinking a few days ago how glad I am that I don't hang out with Mr Fletcher's group. On the contrary, I prefer staying out of their clique and associating myself with all sorts of different people. I think it's better that way considering I get bored quite easily and enjoy talking to new people. But more than that - I've realized that Mr Fletcher (as well as Mr McEwan) can be incredibly immature and - well - gossipy. I won't pretend that I haven't known this for a long time, because I have. But I don't think I've actually registered how bad they can be until just recently. To be fair, both of them have been there for me many times throughout all these years we've been friends... but all the same, I'm not entirely sure how much I can trust them anymore. Hell, I don't even know how much I can trust anyone. Things pertaining to human relationships, I have realized, are just so changeable that there isn't any point in putting faith in them or making sense out of them. Because sometimes they're just not going to make sense, and you can't predict what's going to happen in the future. It's also because of the above realization that nowadays I tend to keep my distance from other people. I don't know whether losing my faith in the people around me is a good thing (as it lowers the chance of me getting hurt), or a bad thing as I'm putting a lower standard on the people around me. Hmm.

Sigh. Not used to el-jaying anymore. Have no idea what to say >_<

Hmm. I also think that I've finally managed to embrace uni life. I would describe the first semester as being unbearably lonely. I don't even know how many days I've gone to uni and just carried around that feeling of not having anyone I know around. But this semester, I think I've not only grown used to it but I also like being alone. It's nice not to feel like I always have to have someone around me. And I also feel like I've finally moved on from one stage of my life and gone into another. I've spent so long being afraid that people will move on in their lives and I won't - but now I've realized that it's okay, because I've learnt to do the same as well. I still keep in touch with old friends, but after having accepted that things are not always going to be the way they are now, I've started to branch out and not tie myself down to things or people in the past - because I know that the latter will move on and that one day they won't be around anymore. I can't stand the thought of being left behind, so rather than putting myself in that kind of position, I'd rather be one of the first ones to leave....

Blah. So many other things, but I don't even know how to write it down in words. Anyway, this will have to suffice for now.

♥ Silvernixy

Across the sky
and reflected
in our eyes
were self-made promises
and worldly lies.

Your eyes are not windows.
They are mirrors
reflecting myself back at me,
the image you know I'd most want to see.
But even if it were a window
the blinds are resolutely drawn.
I see them now. Let me open them,
climb in and touch the fragments of your soul.
Piece their jagged edges together.
See, you don't have to be whole.

Love is
irreplacable,
enduring and
simple.

I am the pauses between your words
the spaces between your open fingers
the vapour of your warm breath in the wind.
When the latter is present
the former you can see
- but without the first
the other fails to be.
My question for you, then,
is this: who am I?

Who am I without you?

Dear God: how long will it be until the
time comes for me to return to your Throne?
I’ll not lie – I am tired of waiting
so sick and tired of being left alone
My days Lord, pass by so meaninglessly
my trivial ends are all I strive for
and though that’s not what I want to do
it just doesn’t seem like there’s anything more
I know that I must stay for now, because
surely You have a wonderful plan for me
but I fear that I am not strong enough
to cope – the future, I just cannot see
Dear God, save me now that I’m falling
‘cause the truth is that
I can no longer hear You calling…

a

open me up like an oyster's shell
touch your tongue
to my untouched pearl
run your thumb
along my rims
and just like the sea
i'll ebb and i'll swell


b

open me up like an oyster's shell
touch your tongue to my untouched pearl
unravel my fronds, and oh pray tell
would your love for this ocean ever be felled?
'cause only for you, baby, will i ebb and swell

As I walk through the autumn on the ground,
I lift my eyes up to the endless blue
and ponder upon the singular sound
of this melody. I'm alone, it's true.
We are all caught in the same fast-moving
traffic, desperate to stay in quick motion
in an attempt to try the removing
of things which steal our strength, our emotion.
Closed doors shut tightly we are, lock and key
moulded somewhere deep inside our clay hearts.
I for one do not claim to be whole. See
all my secret hollows, my missing parts.
Oh, but something fills them once in a while -
your kindness, your warmth; the light of your smile.

1

It is raining again.
Winter is well and truly upon us.
How much I have changed since that last spell
I wonder if I should fall under it another time
for I am still glazed with frost, slightly
the sun fails to thaw me whole again
but I do not stop hoping.
The beginning of a new winter will see me emerge
not a frozen snowgirl anymore
by the bitterness of unrequited love but
a flesh-and-blood figure laughing in the pale winter light,
rosy-cheeked and bright-eyed in the common cold.



2

It is raining again.
Winter is well and truly upon us.
How much I have changed since that last spell cast, and
I was wondering whether or not I would fall under it a second time.
I was a snowflake melting on your tongue
an icicle on your infantile cheek.
My lashes are still faintly glazed with frost and
the sun has yet to thaw me completely whole -
but I do not stop hoping.
The beginning of a new winter.
I'll not be a frozen Snow White in the numbing bitterness of
unrequited love anymore, you'll see, but
a rosy-cheeked figure in the pale winter light
emerging triumphant from beneath a sheet of ice
dressed to the nines in scarlet and gold
laughing and bright-eyed
in the common cold



3

It is raining again.
Winter is well and truly upon us.
How much I have changed since that last spell cast, and
I wonder whether or not I would fall under it a second time.
I was an icicle on your infantile cheek,
a snowflake melting on your tongue.
My lashes are still faintly glazed with frost and
the sun has yet to thaw me completely whole, but
I will it, I hope it, I know it.
The beginning of a new winter.
I'll not be a frozen Snow White in the numbing bitterness of
unrequited love this time round, you'll see.
This time round, you'll see me dressed in scarlet and gold,
emerging into the common cold
from beneath that sheet of ice
triumphant, bright-eyed and laughing
into the pale winter twilight.



4

It is raining again.
Winter is well and truly upon us.
How much I have changed since that last spell cast, and
I wonder whether or not I would fall under it a second time.
I was an icicle on your infantile cheek,
a snowflake melting on your tongue.
My lashes are still faintly glazed with frost and
the sun has yet to thaw me completely whole again, but
I will it, I hope it, I know it.
The beginning of a new winter.
I'll not be a frozen Snow White in the numbing bitterness of
unrequited love this time round, you'll see.
This time round, I'll be a rosy-cheeked figure
in the pale winter light
emerging triumphant from beneath that sheet of ice
bright-eyed in scarlet and gold
laughing and twirling
into the common cold



5

It is raining again.
Winter is well and truly upon us.
How much I have changed since that last spell cast, and
I wonder if I would fall under it a second time.
I was an icicle, before, on your infantile cheek -
a snowflake melting on your tongue.
Your voice, your eyes, everything a white-hot flame.
My lashes are still faintly glazed with frost and
the sun has yet to thaw me completely whole again
but I will it, I hope it, I pray it, and I know it.
I'll not be a frozen Snow White lying alone
for another season in the common cold.
This winter, I'll emerge a Red Rose
from beneath that trapping sheet of ice -
triumphant, bright-eyed and laughing
into the pale winter twilight.